Nostalgia Nights: Baby Geniuses & A Troll In Central Park
I should have known it was too good to be true. My friend and I had lucked out with a few really solid picks. Even if they didn’t age perfectly, we were able to find quite a few redeeming qualities about each film we ended up watching. This time around, that wasn’t the case. Specifically with my movie. It’s almost impressive how truly terrible Baby Geniuses is. In fact, we discovered that it may be the lowest rated movie on Rotten Tomatoes that I’ve ever seen. And for a good reason.
Let’s start out with the lesser of the two evils. My friend’s pick was A Troll In Central Park and while it isn’t one I’ll necessarily feel the need to revisit any time soon, the nostalgia was strong, even for me, despite not having seen it before. There were so many similarities to other animated movies that I adore in its style that it felt comfortable. The main character (the troll) was reminiscent of the seven dwarves. The villain gave off Ursula vibes. We even made a game out of announcing any time we were reminded of another family movie that was of that era or before.
The story had some holes in it, which, considering it is both a kids’ movie and a story about a troll who gets expelled from his world for having a green thumb and sent to NYC, isn’t exactly a damning characteristic. There were a few very randomly placed musical numbers that delighted us more than confused us. We decided to view this as research for whether or not the movies from our childhood could be viewed by the next generation, and ultimately, this one had some merits, but it seemed like it actually may be a bit on the scary side for little ones. We also learned my friend watched a very odd array of films when she was young.
I’m not one to talk, however, since I brought the absolute insanity that is Baby Geniuses to this party. How on earth I was provided with this movie to watch is a question I’ll never be able to truly answer. This is a shockingly horny and innuendo-filled movie for something I vaguely remember watching either during rainy days at summer camp or in an after-school care program. About halfway through this masterpiece, my friend turned to me, aghast, pointing out that so many people had to think this movie was a good idea. It took so many yeses to get it made.
Somehow, some way, they got Kathleen Turner to sign onto this. I can only assume coercion was involved. Christopher Lloyd? Kim Cattrall? Dom DeLuise? HOW? Big name actors in an utterly confounding movie. The premise is oddly amusing: when babies are seemingly developing, they actually are utter geniuses. They just cannot communicate these secrets of the universe to us. So naturally, scientists are trying to translate and understand just what these babies know. And shockingly, things go amiss. Who could have guessed it? If it isn’t obvious from my tone, this movie is a pile of garbage. Entertaining enough to laugh at with a friend, but nothing more than that.
We’re gonna try something a little different for the October edition of this, and then we’re going to do a special Christmas one at the end of the year. There are just so many ways my friends and I can go about this - and the possibilities are seemingly endless.