'The Snowman' Is A Baffling Mashup Of Daddy Issues And Plot Holes
- Starring Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, J.K. Simmons, Val Kilmer and Toby Jones
- Rated R
- Drama/Horror
- Run Time - 1 hour, 59 min
- Directed by Tomas Alfredson
- In Theaters October 20, 2017
There's something to be said about a good bad movie, isn't there? Unintentional humor can be just as entertaining, and sometimes, just sometimes, there's something oddly impressive about how bad a movie can truly be.
And then there's The Snowman.
The trailer for the film indicates that Detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) is going to be all but given a breadcrumb trail of clues that will lead him to a horrible serial killer. In the movie, however, that doesn't even kind of happen.
There's a detective, sure. There's a serial killer, yes. But there is not a single clue that could have led said detective to really stop the aforementioned killer. And that's just the beginning of the confusion.
Fassbender plays a detective named Harry Hole, which is not something you'd expect in a horror/thriller/drama film that truly is not supposed to be a parody of any kind. He isn't the best detective out there, though some dialogue would want you to believe so. He, along with a team, investigate a string of disappearances and murders that seem to be related to snow and (somewhat loosely) snowmen.
And really, there's not much that makes sense beyond that. Why does the killer use snowmen as a calling card? What on earth is J.K. Simmons character's role in all of this? Do all the victims actually die or is there just some super heavy drugs involved? How on earth does Hole actually have a job still? How are there this many people with daddy issues, extramarital affairs and children born from these affairs in one single town? Why does not a single one of Val Kilmer's lines truly match up with the movement of his mouth? How did this movie get made? How is it a part of a series of many, many books?
Sadly, none of these questions truly get answered. The acting is surprisingly mediocre for such a normally talented cast, the dialogue is subpar at best and the plot is so full of holes that people in the theater were literally asking questions aloud throughout the film. Needless to say, it will be truly shocking if another tale of 'Inspector Harry Hole' makes it to the big screen any time in the future.